Banded Together - The Patterns of My History

Looking back, moments within personal histories often fade—not from a lack of care or love, but from the absence of time and intention devoted to remembering. Memory is deeply individual, continually shaping who we are and how we understand ourselves. This project became a way to revisit and reconnect with earlier versions of myself—each one distinct, authentic, and essential to the person I am now.

The patterns within our personal histories form the foundation of our identities. In my own life, certain constants—my parents, my family, my love for art, animals, and the outdoors—have remained steady, quietly guiding my sense of self over time.

Reading through the bandanas as if looking at pages of a book, I’ve been able to rediscover relationships with loved ones, spend time with my younger self, and soften the edges of past heartbreak. The bandanas serve as a visual narrative, weaving together past and present. Each bandana represents a chapter of my life. When read as a narrative, the photographs document lived moments, while the hand-drawn patterns reflect my emotional interpretation of and connection to those memories. Each drawn and printed pattern emerges from a feeling—an imprint left by a person, place, or experience. 

The utilization of Van Dyke printing to create the images establishes a cohesive collection. Each bandana, representing a unique area of my life, is brought together as part of a whole, illustrating my story. By incorporating these details, the bandanas do more than frame the photographs; they deepen their meaning. Memories that once felt isolated are brought together into one story, emphasizing the interconnectedness of lived experience and the present moment in which we live.

My identity exists in three interconnected parts: who God created me to be, who my friends and family perceive me to be, and who I understand myself to be. The “self” presented to others changes daily and situationally among these three personas. The qualities and roles present in each area of my life constantly overlap and demonstrate my personal aim: to be a follower of God who shares His peace with others; a loyal, steady, and cheerful presence among family and friends; and a proud supporter of myself. 

Self-reflection has allowed for a better understanding of these overlapping identities, as well as the roles, values, strengths, weaknesses, and flaws within each aspect. 

The visual representation of personal identity is presented through three photographic self-portraits mounted on a triptych of canvases. Within the combination of portraits, compositions of flowers and animals act as symbolic extensions of my identity. Each portrait corresponds to a distinct aspect of the self, with meanings—both positive and negative—revealed through examination of the surrounding imagery. 

The blue button-up work shirt represents my self-perceived identity as an artist—committed, disciplined, and willing to sacrifice time and connections in pursuit of creating. Flowers found in my mother’s garden—sunflowers and climbing roses—reflect joy, creative spirit, loyalty, and growth toward the light. However, the thorns and intertwining vines of the climbing roses evoke feelings of being trapped or entangled. Monarchs and pipevine swallowtails, butterflies native to my hometown and personal history, represent the transformation of the soul that occurs when following Christ.

Cyanotype, or blueprint, offers a unique opportunity to create cohesion within the piece. The duality of blue mirrors that of the symbols contained within the triptych. Blue’s positive associations include spirituality, diligence, loyalty, and peace; negatively, it can characterize isolation, emotional distance, and sadness. Much like the interconnected aspects of my identity, collage allows elements to overlap and mingle with one another. It also enables elements to form shapes that extend from the surface of the portraits, expanding into space before them. 

The dichotomy of symbols embodying both negative and positive connotations illustrates that all aspects of life carry both good and bad—one cannot exist without the other. Loyalty can become a sense of constraint; dedication to art can lead to isolation, and faith often calls for sacrifice.